Ways to Annoy Me #2

Talk in childish voices ALL the time. And whenever you come to our building you feel the need to disrupt everyone and everything. You need extreme attention and please stop seeking it here. I feel the need to body slam you off the back porch on a daily basis.

Also, I promise my blog has not became just ways to annoy/charm me. I will be back with a real blog post soon.

Ways to Annoy Me #1

Whine everyday over and over and over about the same thing. Kill. Me. Now.

Ways to Charm Me #2

Buy me crackwater (SoBe Lifewater) because you happen to notice they have my favorite flavor while you are in the store buying cigs.

Ways to Charm Me #1

Tell me that same stupid 'Three legged dog' joke because you know it makes me smile when I'm feeling down. It's not that the joke is even remotely funny, but it has became "our thing".

Who I Am

Recently, my father was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Having watched a best friend - motherly figure and my mom die from cancer, I kind of expected this diagnosis.

When my mom was diagnosed I was sort of expecting it but at the same time I was still in a bit of shock. This time around even though it's my dad and I am a daddy's girl, things seem much clearer and I feel like I am handling it better.

The one thing that does bother me this time is how we as a family have became a diagnosis. No one calls just to chat, we've heard from family we haven't heard from since mom died and everyone immediately asks how my dad is and how am I "handling" it. It is not that I do not appreciate the thoughts, I really do. The problem is , I am still Tammy. My name isn't Cancer and I still have a life to live and a job to do.

Cancer doesn't make the world stop turning. Yes, it sucks! Yes, it makes things more hectic and you realize anew how precious life is. But at the same time I am still a daughter, aunt, sister and friend. Cancer makes life really shitty, but it doesn't change who you are.

Please, let my family and I be who we are. Don't treat me like I am so fragile I might break at any moment. I am still the person I was before, I just need a little more patience and probably a little more vodka these days.

In case you haven't noticed, when things get to painful I stop writing. I think it has something to do with actually dealing with (or maybe I should say NOT dealing with) what is going on.

I promise to be back soon, until then just dream about all the fun we will have when I tell you stories of new boys, old boys, lost boys and plans for sharks to eat a certain boy!

The Mind of a Man

First off, I believe this title is an oxymoron, because men and minds do not go together.

There is a new guy that I have been talking to, let's call him.....Old And Irritating. OAI and I "met" through facebook (yet another reason to hate facebook). He seemed nice and was only looking for someone to talk to. Talking (more like e-mailing) sounded like something I could do. After a few e-mails I, as usual, let my guard down and gave him my digits.

Things were fine for a week or so, until the questions started. "Where are you? Why haven't you answered my text?" Blah blah blah blah blah. I was fairly done at this point, but then he WENT OFF in a voicemail accusing me of being married. Ummm.....no. So I basically told him that I couldn't do the friend thing anymore because he had become clingy and honestly had started creeping me out. I'm nothing if not blunt! OAI freaks out, calls me an idiot and says that he never wants to speak to me again. Woohoo!!!! Just what I wanted.

This morning, I received a two page e-mail explaining the reasons that he is perfect for me. TWO FREAKIN PAGES!!!!! To end the e-mail he said, and I quote "I will not beg to see or be with anyone, I do not have to do so." Really? REALLY?? Cause hey buddy, this whole e-mail is you begging to be with me. Hell, it was like a whole essay with a thesis and everything.

Not ten minutes ago, I received another e-mail from him saying how perfect he thought I was an how he didn't want me to contact him ever again. Hey genius (btw this fine specimen is an Assistant Principal of a high school) you are the one blowing up my inbox. The last time I sent you a message I called you a creep!

So what did I do? Oh my lovelies you know me so well. Of course I did something. I copied his e-mail with all the reasons we should be together and beside each one in bold red I simply typed, "YOU ARE A FREAK!" I then sent it to him in an e-mail and just to make sure to get my point across, I posted it to his wall on facebook. Yep, I'm that kinda girl!!!!