The Mind of a Man

First off, I believe this title is an oxymoron, because men and minds do not go together.

There is a new guy that I have been talking to, let's call him.....Old And Irritating. OAI and I "met" through facebook (yet another reason to hate facebook). He seemed nice and was only looking for someone to talk to. Talking (more like e-mailing) sounded like something I could do. After a few e-mails I, as usual, let my guard down and gave him my digits.

Things were fine for a week or so, until the questions started. "Where are you? Why haven't you answered my text?" Blah blah blah blah blah. I was fairly done at this point, but then he WENT OFF in a voicemail accusing me of being married. Ummm.....no. So I basically told him that I couldn't do the friend thing anymore because he had become clingy and honestly had started creeping me out. I'm nothing if not blunt! OAI freaks out, calls me an idiot and says that he never wants to speak to me again. Woohoo!!!! Just what I wanted.

This morning, I received a two page e-mail explaining the reasons that he is perfect for me. TWO FREAKIN PAGES!!!!! To end the e-mail he said, and I quote "I will not beg to see or be with anyone, I do not have to do so." Really? REALLY?? Cause hey buddy, this whole e-mail is you begging to be with me. Hell, it was like a whole essay with a thesis and everything.

Not ten minutes ago, I received another e-mail from him saying how perfect he thought I was an how he didn't want me to contact him ever again. Hey genius (btw this fine specimen is an Assistant Principal of a high school) you are the one blowing up my inbox. The last time I sent you a message I called you a creep!

So what did I do? Oh my lovelies you know me so well. Of course I did something. I copied his e-mail with all the reasons we should be together and beside each one in bold red I simply typed, "YOU ARE A FREAK!" I then sent it to him in an e-mail and just to make sure to get my point across, I posted it to his wall on facebook. Yep, I'm that kinda girl!!!!

10 Things I Have Learned from Women

1.) If you drink milk with oreos, it becomes a healthy snack.

2.) Purple panties make crotchless blue jeans okay to wear to work.

3.) You don't have to be blood related to be family.

4.) Acting like a dumb blond comes in handy sometimes.

5.) True friends will always be in your corner. They may be rolling their eye, knowing that you are making a bad decision, but they are still there for you.

6.) I am strong. With sufficient time, support and chocolate I can survive most anything.

7.) Coffee is one of the main food groups.

8.) Sometimes it is necessary to be a bitch.

9.) Keep your poker face on, and don't show all of your cards.

10.) It's okay to not answer your phone immediately because you are to busy dancing to the ringtone.

Goldilocks

It has been so long since I have written anything "real". Things in my life are about as normal as can be expected for a crazy person, LOL.

I am still as single as the Pope. I still have a man in my life that I would like to be over, but can't. He texts me late at night when he's alone and there is no one better to talk to. I am fairly sure I mean nothing to him, but yet my heart keeps holding on.

I still have a man in my life that I wish I had feelings for, but don't. He texts me during the day and before I fall asleep at night. He is so sweet and I am sure he would treat me like gold, but I still don't have those feelings for him. My inner masochist is a real bitch.

I feel like Goldilocks looking for a man that is "just right" when in fact the chances are higher that I will be eaten by a pack of bears.

10 Things I Learned From Men

1.) Sometimes you can’t be in a relationship or a friendship. Sometimes you need to walk away.

2.) To operate a bulldozier.

3.) Unexpected kissing can make things very confusing.

4.) To make a caramel pie.

5.) Sometimes "I Love You" is just three words and nothing more.

6.) To shoot a gun.

7.) Little acorns grow into mighty oaks (Thanks Rick I still have my acorn and THIS little acorn is doing the best she can).

8.) I should show off sometimes. I should let people see how capable I am. (Former boss).

9.) To make a potato gun and how to run when the potato gun is a little more powerful than you thought and the police come looking for you.

10.) Don’t trust men.

Against Better Judgement

After crying for a total of 18 of the past 24 hours I lost all good judgment and answered the phone when J called. He was sweet and I was lonely. The kind of lonely where you feel like you are the only person who even exists. The kind of lonely where you pick up the phone just to call anyone who might answer. The kind of lonely where you lay in bed and talk for two hours to the ceiling hoping that somehow God is hearing you. Loneliness so deep and dark that you find yourself reaching across the bed hoping to find a hand to hold or shoulder to cry on, but instead you find nothing.