Friday, May 15, 2009

Who I Am

Recently, my father was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Having watched a best friend - motherly figure and my mom die from cancer, I kind of expected this diagnosis.

When my mom was diagnosed I was sort of expecting it but at the same time I was still in a bit of shock. This time around even though it's my dad and I am a daddy's girl, things seem much clearer and I feel like I am handling it better.

The one thing that does bother me this time is how we as a family have became a diagnosis. No one calls just to chat, we've heard from family we haven't heard from since mom died and everyone immediately asks how my dad is and how am I "handling" it. It is not that I do not appreciate the thoughts, I really do. The problem is , I am still Tammy. My name isn't Cancer and I still have a life to live and a job to do.

Cancer doesn't make the world stop turning. Yes, it sucks! Yes, it makes things more hectic and you realize anew how precious life is. But at the same time I am still a daughter, aunt, sister and friend. Cancer makes life really shitty, but it doesn't change who you are.

Please, let my family and I be who we are. Don't treat me like I am so fragile I might break at any moment. I am still the person I was before, I just need a little more patience and probably a little more vodka these days.

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