Thursday, May 20, 2010

A List

In honor of my dear friend, Miss Runs on Coffee's, last few days as a member of the Crusty Cresties (that's what we call our little crew at work) I present to you:

A List of Little Known "Facts" About Miss Runs on Coffee:

  1. She once tasered Chuck Norris. He then pissed his pants causing the Dec 26th 2004 tsunami.
  2. MROC is the co-founder of "Hey, is this shit flammable" and also "Hey, where's the damn fire extinguisher".
  3. She was once jailed for attacking and kidnapping an entire bus of Australian men and one Jasper fireman.
  4. While on her way to buy a pack of cigs she once stopped to help a man change a tire on his Ford. After changing said tire she took his keys away and informed him, "Once you grow a pair and can change your own damn tire then you can have your keys back. And pull your pants up your panties are showin'".
  5. She was co-chairman of "Hey let's TP our boss' office". Then oversaw the clean-up of "OMG, where did this TP come from. This crap stinks".
  6. She once fought a pack of rabid ninjas for a peanut butter pie. The ninjas have never been heard from again.
  7. For several months she accosted her boss by throwing bananas in her yard. The husband of said boss became so distraught and mentally incapacitated he grew what appeared to be Chewbacca on his face.
  8. She once destroyed two whole blocks by setting off a grenade to kill one wasp. The wasp's family was later questioned and would only mumble the word "Hitler".
  9. She once threatened to "cut a man" over a large order of cheese fries. Upon being questioned the man said " She had this look in her eye that said ' I will cut you and eat cheese fries over your cold dead body'." The man has never been heard from again and is believed to be in a witness protection program.
  10. She made me miss her before she was even gone. Cry knowing she was leaving. And smile knowing she is my friend.


  1. I LOVE YOU! I think I just wet myself reading this.

  2. How funny and sweet!

  3. so true so true!

  4. Sounds like a pretty amazing friend to have around! I loved number 4. And I just realized my google name is SHAM instead of SAHM. How'd that happen?

  5. All accurate and funny as hell! Imma gonna miss her terribly too!

  6. I am sooo going to miss her!!! By the way... I think I shall never forgive yall for Chewbacca... for I will never see my husbands face again... (dramatic sigh)!